You know the saying "When you pray for patience God doesn't give you patience... He gives you opportunities to be patient...?" Well I'm learning a lesson like that. You see, I've written before about how I grew up very priviledged. While that was a huge blessing, I've always secretly wished that I had a "good testimony" like you hear at church camp. (Poor little girl didn't have a rough childhood, how tragic! I know.. just stick with me). I realize that sounds ridiculous but the intent behind the desire is what is important. I wanted to have a "good testimony," not for sympathy or cool points, but so that when I shared Jesus with others, I would have some way to connect better with those who are lost. It always seemed to me like sharing Jesus was so much easier when you had a very visible transformation story. I wanted a personal story that would give more validity to what I was sharing because honestly, not many people who are seriously struggling and recognize their need for a savior believe and feel comfortable sharing their hurts with the wealthy, blonde, female that seems to have the world handed to her on a silver platter (shocking right?). I wanted to have convincing proof of the gospel because, though my transformation from sinner to saved was just as big as anyone's, my story was not.Let's just say I've learned my lesson in praying for a "good testimony." Because what that really means is "God, please put me through hardships and struggles." Teenage me didn't think about the whole process.. I just wanted the end result: A story about a personal experience with God where he revealed his love to me that would help me lead others to Jesus. well i am here to say that God does in fact answer prayers, because i am in the middle of living my personal testimony.And He is adding to it daily. The last 4 months have been full of God calling us to step out in faith: 1st: He called us to help plant a new church. 2nd: He called us to raise our own salary and live on full support. Now: He has called us to move, even though we are not fully funded yet. Several weeks ago, I was really struggling because I really felt like God was telling us we needed to move into the community we are trying to reach but that just didn't seem logical. We didn't have the money to pay for rent and didn't see how we were going to get it. But sometimes God asks us to do things that just don't make sense. I wanted to be equally faithful and wise in when/how we would move out of my parent's house and into our own home in the community of Ft. Bend County. But it seemed like those two things were conflicting. In my head: To be faithful, meant to just move and trust that God would provide for us. To be wise, meant to stay where we were until the money was already in the account. But God calls us to be FAITHFUL AND WISE. How could I be both? I really felt as if moving now, without the funding lined up, would be the most faithful and trusting decision we can make. And ultimately, trusting God is the wisest decision you can make. But he wouldn't ask us to do that? Would he? Was this just my own thought? So that day I surrendered my resistance and logic and said: "God, if that is what you want us to do, then I will do it. But I have to be confident that this is you, and you have to be the one to tell Percy... So if you tell Percy the same thing and he brings it to me, I will know that this is the next step we are supposed to take." And then I had to keep my mouth shut and let God work. Which was difficult.. because I pretty much share every thought with Percy.. especially one this huge! Two weeks passed and I had pretty much decided that these crazy thoughts were just my own when Percy casually walks through the room and says "Hey I've been praying about it and I really feel like God is telling us to completely trust Him and to go ahead and move because the money is going to be there when we need it." My jaw dropped. And I said, "Well I was praying about the same thing and told God that if He wanted us to do that, then He had to tell you and you had to bring it to me... So I guess we got our answer!" Now I won't lie and say things went smoothly from there... On our way to look at apartments, the A/C in our car went out, we had a hot, hungry, screaming baby in the back seat who poured juice all over himself, and we hit a ton of construction (things that are all a bit frustrating by themselves but that combination is just an explosion). Tension was running so high that we almost said "Forget it. We will go another day." But we quickly recognized that all these things could be an attack from the enemy because of course he doesn't want us taking this step of faith (which I'm now thankful for because it's just more confirmation that we are doing the right thing). I'm so glad that we trudged on because we found the perfect apartment (that wasn't even ready to rent yet but the lady assisting us just happened to know it was almost ready), and they were having a special deal that only lasted through the weekend! All of these things lined up perfectly so we did some math and realized that we had enough savings to make up the difference we hadn't fundraised yet, and we could get ourselves through about 7 or 8 months at least. So we signed the lease. And not even 24 hours later we found out that our A/C problem (which we thought would only need a hose replacement) was actually a complete loss and we had to replace the entire thing.. which would cost about a third of our savings. It was just too ridiculous to even be mad.. I laughed. And then I repented. Because I realized that this was yet again, another situation where I tried to logic my way through a situation where only faith would get us through and God wants us to trust Him, not our bank account. this whole season has been a repetition of god saying: "do you still Trust me?"Do you trust that I will provide you with the right job and church? Do you trust that I will provide the funds you need to live on? Do you trust that I will provide the right home to build a family? We are moving on September 1st even though we are about $800/month short of meeting our basic budget right now. It is not always easy, we both have our doubts and fears, but we are choosing to Trust that God is who he says He is and that He will provide. I honestly believe that at the end of my life, I will have a big story to tell and I pray that many come to know and trust Jesus because of that story. Is God calling you to step out in faith and do something that doesn't seem to make logical sense? How will you respond? Please reach out and share your story! We promise, at this point, nothing sounds too crazy to us! And it would be nice to know we are not alone in our crazy!
And if that crazy thing God is calling you to is donating to us to help pay rent... then by all means, PLEASE CLICK HERE :) xoxo Marin
0 Comments
|
Marin HudsonMarin likes to stay up late and write. But sometimes Percy will write as well. :) Archives
October 2017
Categories |